First of all, this article is not about female tyranny. While men might have partners that are jealous and make a big deal when you go out with your buddies for a night, the majority of women understand that men going out with other men is good and won't always result in you ending up in jail with a Las Vegas hooker. For men who aren't single, planning a boys' night out can be a tricky situation. Here are a few suggestions"¦
Be honest, but not too honest
If you are going out with your friends for a night of partying, one of the best ways to avoid a fight is to be honest. If you act evasive and tell her you are just going to a buddy's house to watch football but then end up coming home at 3 a.m. reeking of booze, you could likely find yourself in a volatile situation.
A bad way to preface a night out with the boys is by suggesting that your friend with the sports car and the eye for hot chicks told you that you're pussy-whipped and need a night out with the boys. There's usually one of these guys in every group"”he is single and horny and will stop at nothing to convince his friends (single or not) to accompany him on his nights of cruising for chicks. If your friends don't show respect for your significant other, it's hard for your partner to show respect for boys' night out. Then again, if you are going out with a buddy that your girlfriend finds particularly annoying and offensive, it might be best not to mention his name.
Forget the lap dances
Forget the lap dances and the idea that when you go out with your male friends that you need to compete for the title of wildest partier. Things like getting lap dances from girls that you are not dating can cause some serious problems and threaten the possibility of future boys' nights out. If the ideal setting involves booze, sports and hot chicks, keep any physical contact with strange hotties to a minimum. She will be able to smell foreign perfume (or worse!) on your clothing.
Don't fuel her insecurity
Sometimes even the most confident and intelligent women can feel insecure about themselves and the strength of their relationship with their partner. Your job involves minimizing this sometimes unpredictable insecurity. What does this mean for your night out? Tell her what you'll be doing"”playing golf"¦drinking"”and when you return from your night out and she asks you if you had a good time, try not to recap in magnificent detail all the fake breasts you spotted or how you drank tequila out of someone's belly button"”unless it was your linebacker friend named Joe.
Presents for her
Not to suggest that bribes and flattery will help you manipulate your partner into forgetting that you are going out with the boys; sometimes an unexpected bouquet of flowers or a poignant card telling her how much she means to you will help alleviate any jealousy or anger. She needs to know that she is needed and loved and will sometimes forget this when you say you need a night out with your male friends. After all, isn't she your friend too? Why can't you relax over beer with her? A present can help make her feel appreciated and special (which she is) and allow you some well-deserved time with your buddies.
Frequency Two points here when it comes to planning a night out with your friends. First, moderation is the key to success. If you start going out with your buddies every weekend, there's bound to be tension and hard feelings. Instead, choose your battles carefully and make going out without her a special occasion and not a regular activity. Second, when planning your night out, sometimes it helps to pick an evening when she's busy so that she doesn't feel left out and alone. That way she doesn't have to wait up for you while watching movies in which men cheat on women and getting more upset by the minute.
Encourage her to go out
If your girlfriend or wife gets nervous when you mention your night out with the boys, encourage her to plan a girls' night out with her friends. If she trusts herself to go out with her girlfriends without anything bad happening, shouldn't be apply the same logic to your desire to go out with your friends? But don't patronize her by suggesting that she rent Thelma & Louise with her friends while munching on bonbons. Let her get out and play poker with the girls or go out dancing until 4 a.m. If you relegate girls' night out to staying at home and gossiping, you are being unfair to your partner and she will question your need to go out with your friends as well.
This doesn't just apply to when you are out with the boys, but also to your regular life with your girlfriend/wife. If she thinks you have a real wandering eye, why wouldn't she be suspicious when you want to go out with your friends? In general then don't: hit on her friends or mention how hot they are; eye other beautiful women in the presence of your partner; or pretend to take your relationship lightly. If your partner trusts in you and believes that you would never cheat on her, heading out with the boys for some drinks should not upset her at all. In fact, getting you out of the house gives her some time to herself to indulge in a hot bubble bath, her favorite book and perhaps her beloved vibrator.
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